letting go of grudges

St Jerome talks about grudges today in A Year with the Church Fathers. He says that he wrote a letter to a relative when they were both advanced in years, attempting to bury the hatchet and let go of their grudges. He basically said that he didn't want to die with this anger still in his heart, and be judged for it by God.

That's important, I'm sure. But why does God tell us to forgive in the first place? Besides the fact that it makes all of our lives much better, there is another reason. I'll get to it in a moment. But it DOES make our lives better. Holding a grudge might seem like it feels good at the moment. But it eats away at us. And, even though we don't notice it at the time, it makes us smaller people.

Let that sink in for a moment. You'll sense the truth of it as you think about it. Think of people you know who, every time you talk to them, they bring up the same gripe that they have against the same person. Every time you talk to them. Over and over. They just can't let it go. It makes them boring, right? And it makes them seem so small. Really? You can't let THAT go? It's so insignificant. Yet, each of us do it. And it almost always has to do with our pride. She said WHAT about me? Does he have ANY IDEA who he's dealing with?? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?? You really think I'm must going to sit here and let you talk to me like that?

When we take a step back, cool off, and let our pride deflate, we realize that we're being silly and small. That we need to take the situation, and ourselves, a little less seriously. And let it go. We're much healthier when we do.

But the bigger reason I referred to earlier is this: we are probably (if everything goes well) going to spend eternity with this person. If we can't even act civilly while we're together for a few years on earth, how can we possibly think we'll get along forever in heaven? Forgiveness is of the utmost importance - because without it, we can't possibly live forever with all of the other saints.

God, help us forgive.