avoiding schadenfreude... and more

St Ephrem the Syrian talks to us today about the right response to the suffering of others today in A Year with the Church Fathers. He says that we shouldn't take delight in other's suffering. In German, this is called schadenfreude - when you see someone else having a bad time and it makes you happy.

The roots of schadenfreude are of course in envy. We see that others seem to have things we want, and are happy. This makes us sad. So when they lose something, or experience pain of some kind, it makes us happy because we're not alone in our suffering.

St Ephrem takes this to a whole new level, though. He says that not only should we not enjoy the suffering of our friends, or of strangers... but we should not even rejoice in the suffering of our enemies. He says that when others are suffering, we should feel it... we should suffer with them.

He makes a good point regarding Satan. He says that Satan is happy when people fail. Satan's goal is for all of us to mess up our lives and fall from grace. So when we rejoice in the failings of others, we're joining Satan in his game. He says eloquently, "If you don't like the name, don't go near the act."

So what's the positive side of all of this negative advice? "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Even if it's your enemy that's weeping. Who knows? A few shared tears could turn your enemy into your friend.

God, please give us compassion, so we can share the joys and sorrows of our friends AND our enemies.