whose will?

Today in the One Year Bible, we read from Luke 19:28-48. We read of Jesus entering Jerusalem. He entered triumphantly, and He entered of His own free will. As He told us in John 10:18, no one took His life from Him - He gave it willingly. He laid it down for His sheep, as the good shepherd.

However.

In the garden of Gethsemane, we read about His very confusing prayer. He is praying to God the Father, and He says "If it's possible, take this cup from Me. Nevertheless, not My will but Yours be done." That's some deep and confusing theology right there. Because first of all, He gave His life willingly, according to John 10:18. On the other hand, He didn't want to drink the cup on the night He was betrayed. But God the Father DID want Him to do it, since He prayed that God's will be done, not Jesus's. But Jesus and the Father are One. If we've seen Jesus, we've seen the Father. So how could Jesus have one will and the Father have a different will?

I'm not pretending to understand this fully. But I think it DOES give us some insight into our human condition. Because we are strange creatures ourselves, aren't we? We are physical creatures... with organs and blood and muscles and bones, just like animals. But we're also eternal beings, with spirits or souls, and we will live forever. We are the place where the physical and the spiritual meet. We're like the animals on one hand, and like the angels on the other. And so we often war with ourselves - our spirit is willing, and our flesh is weak. We WANT to be close to God, to put sinning behind us, and to become saints. But our bodies argue with our spirits, and we find ourselves doing the things we don't want to do. St Paul makes that clear when he says that which he wants to do, he doesn't do, but what he doesn't wanna do, that's what he finds himself doing.

So even though the depth of the theology behind Jesus giving His life willingly, but not wanting to drink the cup on that terrifying night in the garden, and also behind the idea of the Son who is one with the Father having a different will from the Father might be beyond our ability to fully grasp... even though that might be true, I think we can relate to it on our limited human level. We know what it's like to want goodness and yet shy away from it when the moment comes. We know what it is to be pulled back and forth between holiness and humanity.

God, thank You for sharing in our struggle - as You told us You did by becoming human. Help us to make the right choice, like You did.