coaxing and cajoling, or browbeat and bully?

Today in A Year with the Church Fathers, St John Chrysostom talks to us about bringing people to church. He says that it's both the fault of the people NOT present AND the fault of the people present that friends and family members are missing church.

This brings up an interesting a subtle difference in the ways we can encourage other people to grow in their faith. We can coax and cajole them... interesting them by making the prospect seem attractive and interesting... or we can browbeat and bully them. Both methods work to varying degrees. But the first system, making people want to do it by making it attractive, puts the subject (in this case, going to church) in a positive light. It makes it something they WANT, rather than an odious task. The second causes them to do it, probably. But it makes it a burden. It guilts them into doing it.

Do you think one practice is better than the other? Which is more effective, the carrot or the stick? If you've read my blogs, you know that I prefer the carrot. I like to portray the spiritual life as the amazing, enjoyable, fulfilling experience that it really is. I find life with God to be so far better than life without Him, and I try to share that joy with other people. "Look! This is great! You should try this!" That's just my personality.

Some people are different, I know. They won't work up the enthusiasm to do something (even something simple, like recycling or brushing their teeth) unless they're guilted into it by thinking of the horrible ramifications (climate change and ruined teeth) if they don't do it.

I guess that's why carrots and sticks both exist. But for me, I choose the carrot.

God, thank You for giving us both carrots and sticks. Help us, by one or the other, to grow closer to You.