angry fingers

St Ambrose talks to us about anger today in A Year with the Church Fathers. He tells us that we should strive to keep from getting angry. While the Bible does say, "Be angry and sin not," it's better to refrain from anger altogether. We should work for love toward the person who is "rubbing us the wrong way."

But if we can't keep from being angry, says Ambrose, we should try to stop our tongues from getting us in trouble. This is great advice on the internet, where it's not our tongues but our angry fingers that threaten to get us in trouble. When "someone on the internet is wrong!!" and we have to set them right. When an issue arises that even our closest friends or family disagree about, and we can't abide letting them have the last word. In these cases, it's best to take a deep breath, calm down, and remember to speak the truth in LOVE, not in anger. And a healthy dose of emojis helps alot, Ambrose added. (or maybe that was me.)

Ambrose then goes on to say (because the advice he's giving us is VERY practical) that if we DO get angry, and can't help but say something, try not to say things you'll later regret. Don't call names. Don't "get even" by hitting them harder than they hit you. Don't, in the parlance of debate and intelligent argumentation, attack the other person ad hominem. Argue with their position, sure, but don't attack them personally. It's a weak argument to begin with, and it will lead you to say things you'll regret later.

Finally, says Ambrose in his practical thinking, if you DO get angry, and you DO say something, and you find yourself saying something you DO regret... reconcile. Go to the person and apologize. Find common ground. Show them love. Even if they don't reciprocate, it's important for US to be the voice of love in the conversation. Don't forget, other people are reading your comments.

God, thanks for practical advice on how to interact with people who push our buttons.