fear of the One who knows us better than we know ourselves

St Gregory the Great teaches us some important things from the life of Judas today in A Year with the Church Fathers. He says that we should learn from how Jesus treated Judas. He didn't publicly shame him, but only hinted at what He knew that Judas was going to do. If Judas had repented, Gregory says, then he could have been reinstated without causing a huge scandal. We should learn to treat sinners this same way, giving them room and time to repent. And we should examine ourselves and repent of any sins that we find there, that God is being patient with US and giving us time to turn from.

But one little phrase hit me in the feels. Gregory says that each of the disciples was afraid, during the Last Supper, when Jesus said that one of them was going to betray Him. Even though the other eleven knew they weren't planning on it, they were afraid anyway. Because "each is afraid that what he knows of himself may be less true than what the Truth Himself foresees." Every disciple was afraid that Jesus may know something about them that they don't know themselves.

And that's true for all of us. He knows us better than we do. He knows what we're capable of. He knows what tests we can pass and which we'll surely fail. It's a scary thing, and would be scarier if we didn't know that we could trust Him. If we weren't certain that He loves us more than we can fathom. He knows what we'll do, and He loves us anyway. He already knows what our next sin will be every time we confess and repent, and yet He accepts our confession and our repentance anyway. Because He loves us.

God, please help us to avoid those tests that you know we'll fail. And thank You for loving us so much that we can trust You who know us better than we know ourselves.