the dreaming inner warmth

Lewis takes us into a scary place today in A Year with C.S. Lewis.

He takes us into ourselves.

He refers to the part of us that we don't like to talk about... or even think about. The part of us, deep down, that is way too comfortable with sin. That thinks horrible things about people. That imagines doing things that we don't even want to admit to ourselves. Even in the best of us (and that's certainly not me), I think we can assume that there is a thread of selfishness that runs through us. When we're asked to do something unpleasant, there is the inner recoil. The part of us that truly wants someone else - anyone else - to do the thing rather than us. The part of us that we have to overcome in order to be charitable. And the best of us DO overcome that inner voice. But it's still there.

All of this is rather dark thinking. It's not a pleasant realization that deep inside of the darkness in us... we find a selfish little monster who wants only what pleases us, whatever the cost.

But thanks be to God, that He is able to shine the light of His love into even the darkest of hearts. He is able to illumine us with His divine light, filling us with Himself in such a way that we find ourselves, inside and out, truly transformed.

Thank You, God, for not being afraid of my little monster inside... but for loving me anyway, and shining light into my darkness.